Last night I got a surprising text from an IB friend turned motorcycle wanderlust MB that on her adventures she was staying at her boyfriends buddies house in New York. Turns out, the beau’s buddy is none other that my first love.
I’m sure I’ve talked about Tom in this project before. While he wasn’t my first boyfriend, he was the first one that defined my perception of romantic love and in a way, sexuality. In fact, every man I’ve had a serious relationship with since Tom has reminded me a little of him.
I tend to date tall men who are brilliant. I know many people think that intelligence is sexy, and honestly I wouldn’t be friends with you if you didn’t. The men I date tend to be a cut even above what the standard perception of intelligence. Tom was (and I’m assuming still is) extremely gifted in all areas of academia. I remember him scoring through the roof on his PSAT’S which led him to a special summer program at Penn State for poetry. That summer I went to Boston University for a theater intensive and those six weeks apart were the pin that broke us.
I like to be challenged. If left to my own devices I could easily waste the day making daisy chains and and sprinkling fairy dust upon the world. That’s not to say that I don’t find academia important – it’s just in a romantic partner if they aren’t interested in the wicked smart things I find no reason to try and impress them with my wits. I’ve gone on enough dates this past year to figure out that I have an extremely small threshhold for anything less than scholarly.
It also falls into the tough guy category for me. While it would be nice to have a guy that could kick someone’s ass if they threatened me, more important is that they can defend their beliefs with backed up knowledge. One of the things I most admired about Mooney was his retention of information. A bigot quotes the bible damning my gay friends? He would come back with three different scriptures and a butt load of facts. Heh. Butt load.
I suppose while looking at this I should note that these type of men are attracted to me as well. I am certainly not going to claim to have any where close to the IQ of those I date. But there must be something about my spontaneous absentminded manic pixie girl mentality that they find attractive. I suppose I should give them all a survey. I’m not going to do that.
What have I learned since Tom? Not much. I’ve learned that I like smart, perhaps a little socially awkward dudes that I can pull out of their shell and they can keep me on my toes. I mean, just look at the Dr.